Happy Monday, Chattanooga!

We’ve got a jam-packed week ahead, from river-side ramp jams to community wellness circles, needle-feltin’ sunsets, and even a glitter-dusted cosplay & burlesque mashup. Plus, Clementine’s handin’ me the keys to her corner this week, so I’m takin’ y’all on an investigative journey into the very real gnome government at Rock City. Pack your curiosity, your lawn chair, and maybe an alibi: we’re hittin’ it all in this issue.

Today's Issue Includes:

• This Week's Front Porch Partner!

• Chattanooga's Upcoming Events

• Hand-Picked Community Spotlight: Chattanooga Community Circles Day!

• Stuff I Saw on the Internet: Alyson Stoner’s New Book!

• A Yap with Dorothy of Scenic City Burlesque

• Bubby’s Backyard: Rock City’s Secret Gnome Government

• Wrap Up

This week’s Front Porch Partner: Attio

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What’s Goin’ On in the Scenic City?

Community

• Chicks Get Crafty: Needle Felting Night
  August 13 @ Whiskey Cowgirl
  Learn to poke wool into somethin’ purty with Girl Chat Chattanooga + The Knot & Needle. Leave with a handmade sunset and braggin’ rights.
  🪡 Poke It Till It’s Pretty

• Paint & Sip with Brush Hour Parties
  August 13 @ The Big Chill & Grill & August 17 @ Hoptown Southside
  Two nights, two critters: paint summer lightning bugs or the barnyard’s best-dressed piglet, Boots McGee. No skills needed, just sip and sling paint!
  🖌️Paint Them Lightning Bugs | 🐷Put Boots on Boots

• D&D One-Shot + Book Release Party at Rêve Coffee & Books
  August 15 & 16 @ Rêve Coffee & Books
  Roll dice, drink coffee, and join Jay Olsen-Thrift for an afternoon quest. First-timers welcome.
  🐉 Roll for a Good Time

• Chattanooga Community Circles Day
  August 16 @ Chattanooga Public Library – Downtown Branch
  A half-day of community wellness, connection, and problem-solvin’ with your neighbors. Come rest, reset, and leave with a fuller cup.
  🤝 Circle Up, Y’all

Music & Entertainment

• Chickamauga Art & Folk Festival
  August 16 @ Downtown Historic Chickamauga, GA
  One-day art fest with Appalachian folk, live music, demos, and small-town charm.
  🎭 Take the Scenic Art Route

• Grit & Grace Fall Open House
  August 16 @ Grit & Grace Market
  Fall style hits early with cozy vibes, snacks, and giveaways.
  🍂 Fall for Fall Early

• Cos-lesque: A Cosplay & Burlesque Extravaganza
  August 16 @ Scenic City Burlesque
  A nerdy mashup of costumes, dance, and sultry spectacle. Burlesque meets cosplay for one glitter-dusted, fandom-fueled night.
  💃 Get Your Glitter Pass

Outdoors ‘n’ Stuff

• Chattanooga River Games 2025
  August 15–17 @ Ross’s Landing
  Wake surfing, diving, climbing, live music, and three days of river-side chaos and fun. What more could ya ask for?
  🌊 See the Whole Shindig

• Ramp Jam at River Games
  August 15 (3–7PM) & August 17 (2–5PM) @ Ross’s Landing
  Open skate sessions with prizes, ramps, and all the good vibes.
  🛹 Skate It Like You Mean It

Got somethin’ cookin’ that the Scenic City oughta know about? Wanna talk about how cool your weekend was? Tell us all about it! We’d love to yap it up and holler all about it from the porch! Just reply to this message, or send a separate one to [email protected]!

Hand-Picked Community Spotlight: Chattanooga Community Circles Day!

Y’all ever notice how life feels a little less heavy when you’re sittin’ and talkin’ with folks who actually listen to whatcha gotta say, instead of just chanting into what feels like an endless void for all of eternity talking to yer dog or a random stranger? Well you’re in luck, bud!

This Saturday, August 16, the Chattanooga Public Library’s turnin’ the 4th floor into a big ol’ porch for the soul. We’re talkin’ wellness circles, drum therapy, singin’ together, art play stations, and even sweet treats from Desserts On The Roll for when your heart (or belly) needs a lil’ sugar. Best part? It’s all free! Ya just show up with an open mind and maybe a notebook if you’re feelin’ fancy. Sound like fun? Sign up below!

Stuff I Saw on the Internet: Alyson Stoner’s New Book!

Y’all, Alyson Stoner ain’t just that kid who could out-dance all of us in Missy Elliott’s music videos or steal scenes in Cheaper by the Dozen. Heck, they even done voice actin’ as Isabella in Phinehas and Ferb. Now, they’re fixin’ to park themselves on yer bookshelf with a brand-new book, titled Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything: A Memoir. Aaaand, it’s droppin’ tomorrow!

Word is, it’s got the kinda truth-tellin’ and heart-sharin’ that’ll make ya laugh, nod, and maybe holler “Mmm mm mmm, same booboo” a few times. Head on over to Amazon and Pre-order it, or if ya see this tomorrow or any other day, go on and scoop it up!

A Yap with Dorothy of Scenic City Burlesque

Good morning, Chattynooga, and welcome to a very special Yap Session! Now, usually Bubby is the one running all over town getting the scoop on the coolest folks and spots in Chattanooga, but this one is for the ladies. I caught up with Dorothy Demure over at Scenic City Burlesque this week, and let me tell you… if you haven’t seen what they’ve going on over there, ooooh buddy, you are missing out.

Scenic City Burlesque is a women-centered dance studio offering burlesque classes and parties where you can let your inner showgirl shine. They are also Chattanooga’s only premier burlesque troupe, with plenty of chances to catch a performance. For seven years now, they have been shimmying and shaking over at their studio on Hixson Pike in Northshore and they’ve got big, bright plans for the future.

Now, before we get too far ahead of ourselves, we have to talk about what burlesque even is (and what it it ain’t). Dorothy, the owner of SCB, says it is all about empowering women.

This style of dance fitness blends movement, strength, confidence, and self-expression, all while using a pole as your tool. The workouts are designed to be fun and make you feel good in your own skin, to just let the music move you. Sure, there is a bit of stigma hanging around burlesque thanks to how it is shown in movies and on TV. And while it can have some sultry flair, at the end of the day it’s really about what makes you feel comfortable and confident.

Scenic City Burlesque offers classes for all ages, all body types, and all fitness levels. No prior experience is needed, and everyone who signs up gets a chance to talk to Dorothy before getting started to make sure they feel comfortable. Classes always start with a 15 minute warm up. There are different levels for classes, from the basics to choreography and beyond. You can also catch performances and showcases where the students take the spotlight, or book a birthday party, bachelorette party, girls night out, photo shoot… there are plenty of ways to add a little sparkle to your week!

It’s always a party over at Scenic City Burlesque. Every class and showcase comes with its own theme — I’m talking Broadway, beloved books, even cosplay — with music, props, and atmosphere to match. Burlesque celebrates femininity, community, and sisterhood, and as Dorothy says, SCB’s specialty is making everyone feel welcome.

If your interest is piqued, you’re in luck. In addition to daily classes (this week is Mermaid Week!), there are all kinds of events coming up where you can check out Scenic City Burlesque in action. Cos-lesque, a one-of-a-kind blend of cosplay and burlesque, hits the stage this Saturday, August 16! They’ll also be dancing at Booze, Babes, and Brunch at the Devil’s Dive Bar (with drinks and snacks from Mean Jeens!) on September 27. And of course, their annual Thanksgiving and Christmas shows will be lighting up the holiday season.

One day, Dorothy hopes to bring a full-on Burlesque Festival like other big cities have right here to Chattanooga, as a celebration of the diversity, community, and pure joy found in burlesque. For now, she is more than happy to share this empowering, authentic dance experience with the women of Chattanooga

Come book a class, stop by for their next show, maybe even take a spin on the lyra. You might just surprise yourself with how much fun you have, and how good it feels to let your confidence shine!

Bubby’s Backyard: Rock City’s Secret Gnome Government

Now, I ain’t sayin’ Lookout Mountain’s gnomes are runnin’ the place… but I ain’t not sayin’ it either.

Alright, alright, I know I’ve been watchin’ too much of that new season of King of the Hill and it sounds like I’m just Dale Gribble with a teapot on my head instead of a tinfoil hat, but hear me out. See, every time I visit Rock City, I notice somethin’ strange. The gnome count changes. Not like “they bought some new statues for the gift shop” changes, I’m talkin’ gnomes movin’ around like they’re havin’ cabinet meetings when the tourists ain’t lookin’.

I done my own investigative journalism (which is just me hidin’ behind the fudge shop for three hours with binoculars), and I spotted what looked like a gnome election. One fella in a red cap was passin’ out tiny ballots, another was guardin’ a treasure chest that I think contained the Aretha Frankenstein pancake recipe, and a third gnome was whisperin’ to a squirrel in a way that made me real uneasy.

Now, you might be sittin’ here thinkin’, “Bubby… are you okay, bud?” but my FINAL piece of evidence that solidifies my journalistic integrity, LOOK AT THEIR NEW LOGO:

Now, I can’t prove they’re in cahoots with the fudge shop, the incline railway, and that one gift store that sells a buncha trinkets, but let’s just say my sources (a very trustworthy raccoon and my Uncle Dale Rusty Shackleford) believe the gnomes are the real power on the mountain.

If I go missin’, you’ll know who got me. But I ain’t goin’ down without throwin’ a little pocket sand.

Well y’all, It’s nap nap time already.

Well, that’s all the porch-swing chatter for this week, bud. Whether you’re tappin’ your toes at a pole class, swappin’ stories at Community Circles Day, or keepin’ a watchful eye out for gnome-sized political scandals, I hope you find somethin’ that makes ya grin. Same time, same porch next week, you already know where to find us.

— Bubby & Clementine