Do you hear the roar of trumpets from the porch? It’s the Royal Court of Chattanooga, calling all subjects to dress in your finest medieval attire as we approach the upcoming weekend with Chattanooga’s First Ever Ren Faire!

We’ve also got a noble request from the Knights of MARL, who are workin’ to clear the area of the weekend waterworks. If you need some help or want to join their merry band of volunteers, scroll down for info!

As always, we’ve added a fresh track to this week’s issue purely for vibes as you read. Click the radio below before ya start reading if you wanna listen!

This week’s Front Porch Partner is Morning Brew. They ain’t local-local, but every lil’ click sends $1.50 jingle janglin’ straight into the Chattynooga coin purse. No forms or fuss, just a quick tap that helps keep this porch swing rockin’ and the stories flowin’.

So if you’ve got half a second between sips of coffee, give it a click and consider it your good deed for the day. Appreciate ya, neighbor.

Alright Morning Brew, present thy proposal!

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Hey pals! It sure has been a soppin’ wet week for Chattanooga lately, we hope y’all are staying dry for the most part!

In the case you might need some extra help dealin’ with the joys of waterworks in your home, there's an awful special group of folks known as the Mutual Aid Resource Library (or MARL for short) that has been helpin’ folks all over Chattanooga with various deeds ranging from fridge deliveries for the Chattanooga Free Store to givin’ folks free CPR training tomorrow at ClearStory Arts (see below!).

If you’re in need of any help involving clearing downed trees or getting water pumped out of your space, they’re able to get it done at no charge. Just reach out at their phone number 423-200-2656, and they’ll be on it like Sonic.

The MARL relies solely on community donations and good ole fashioned manpower, so if you’re able to help them to help others, your support goes quite a long way towards helping local neighbors get back on their feet when hard times present themselves. You can sign up to volunteer right here as well if you’re interested!

Mosta my knowledge about Renaissance Faires has strictly came from nerdy films and tv shows, as well as my YouTube research of somethin’ called LARPIN’ (which is playin’ Dungeons & Dragons with foam swords and screamin’ “FIREBALL!” at the top of your lungs so folks know they gotta lay on the ground).

My understandin’ is that it’s mostly people in capes talkin' real British-like and pointin' at things. Turns out… I’m right on the money for once, and I ain’t ever been more excited for sometin’ than I am for Chattanooga’s first ever Ren Faire. I won’t spoil the details that Clem’s whipped up for ya at the bottom, instead I wanna talk about somethin that’s been on my mind ever since Meemaw gave us the green light on goin’ to Frazier this Saturday: How in the HECK did people have fun in the olden days without computers or YouTube?

Folks back in the Renaissance Era — and I mean waaay back, like before electricity and chicken nuggets — still found a way to have a real good time. In fact, they literally made it people’s jobs to make people have fun. They had jugglers! And jousting! And uh… looks at my notes Nose jobs when men lost their sniffers in wars, noble duels, or down with the sickness (OOH WAH AH AH AH).

While I’m glad to be born in a more civilized time, I can only imagine the amount of fun that folks had with their pals within the villages of olde. This weekend we’ll be joinin’ ya for a small taste of that, which I present to you:

Bubby's Ye Olde Guide to Havin' a Grand Ol' Time at the Chattanooga Renaissance Faire (we’ll workshop the title):

Let us know if you’ll be there by replying to this email! We’d love to see your garbs if ya dress up 👀

Hear ye, hear ye, for I fear that I am already obsessed with the Chattanooga Renaissance Faire… but for good reason!!

For one thing, this is the FIRST EVER Renaissance Faire in Chattanooga, but we are a town of whimsy and revelry, so this feels long overdue. Our darkly clad pals at Verre Noir are putting this shindig on this Saturday, May 30 at Coolidge Park from 10:00 AM to 8:00 PM. I’ve put together an outfit that’s a cross between a pirate queen and a tavern wench, which Meemaw says I’m “doing too much.” Bubby’s going as a Rock City Gnome. Honestly, he barely even needs a costume (but wait until you see it!).

My main mission on Saturday is to find one of those giant turkey legs and a pair of fairy wings before the day is over. Bubby is a bit concerned that a court jester might try to juggle his gnome hat and teapot, but I’ve assured him that it’s all part of the experience.

And speaking of experience, this one is going to be one to remember! The faire will have sword fighting, magical and witchy performances, live music, blacksmithing demonstrations, psychic readings, live tattooing, food and drink trucks, and a whole bunch of local makers selling strange little treasures. I’m imagining it being kind of like if The Shire had a farmer’s market… only better. The Chattanooga Renn Faire is definitely better.

Anyway, if y’all need me this weekend, I will be somewhere in Coolidge Park gnawing on the biggest turkey leg I can find and pretending I can fly. See ya there!

This week is filled with all sorts of side-quests and gatherings aplenty, so make sure you get out of the house and into somethin’ fun if you can swing it!

Hugs and Harks,

— Bubby & Clementine