C’mon up, I got us a fan while we sit ‘n’ chat!

Meemaw hauled us down to Ross’s Landing this weekend for the River Games, where we got to watch folks yeet themselves off’a giant platform in the sky into the Tennessee River. I kinda did something equally as impressive… but I ain’t gonna toot my own horn about it ‘till later.

This week’s a good one though! Eight dollar wings, a medieval night at the Aquarium, and a kayak parade floatin’ downtown this Saturday! Clementine’s got news of her own to celebrate, so jump in and grab a cold glass to hydrate.

As always, we’ve added a fresh track to this week’s issue purely for vibes as you read. Click the link below before ya start reading if you wanna listen, or listen to the full Chattynooga playlist on Spotify!

This week’s Front Porch Partner is Simple, who believe small steady habits beat white-knucklin’ through some all-or-nothin’ plan.

Every lil’ click sends $1 jingle-janglin’ straight into Chattynooga’s coin purse, with no sign-up required! It’s a good deed for the day, if ya ask me.

Take ‘er away, Simple!

The secret to lasting progress isn’t extreme diets or all-or-nothing routines—it’s small, consistent actions that actually fit your life. This science-backed approach helps you lose weight through simple, sustainable habits designed to work with your lifestyle, not against it—without restrictive meal plans or overwhelming gym schedules.

The results speak for themselves: users have already lost over 20 million pounds.

Take the quiz to get your personalized plan and stay accountable with small daily actions (plus a surprisingly honest companion to help keep you on track).

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Summer Night Clothing Swap
Thursday, August 20 @ Mean Jeen’s | 7:00 - 10:00 PM

Give your closet a little end-of-summer switcheroo! Mean Jeen’s is bringing back its clothing swap, where you can clear out the clothes you don’t wear and swap them for something new-to-you. The swap is free to join, with bites and drinks available throughout the night and leftover clothes headed to a local charity. 

👗 Swap till you drop

Rivers and Realms
Friday, August 21 @ Tennessee Aquarium | 6:00 - 9:00 PM

Hear ye, hear ye! The Tennessee Aquarium is going medieval for the night. Rivers & Realms is an 18+ evening of jousting, tabletop games, live music, crafts, caricatures, local vendors, and magical merriment throughout the River Journey. This one’s for the 18+ crowd, so don your finest medieval garb, grab a bite, and raise a glass to a night in the realm. 

⚔️ Roll for adventure

Big Kid Show and Tell
Saturday, August 22 @ 330 Main | 6:00 - 8:00 PM

Remember when making a new friend was as easy as showing them your coolest toy? Blerd Chattanooga is bringing that energy back with Big Kid Show & Tell, where grown-ups can bring something they love and use it to break the ice with someone new. Food and drinks will be available from 330 Main, so settle in, show off your stuff, and enjoy the evening.

👀 You gotta see this

Storytime with the Wombats
Wednesday, August 19 @ Soddy Daisy Community Library | 12:00 - 1:00 PM

The Wombats are back for another special storytime! Join WTCI PBS at the Soddy-Daisy Community Library for Storytime with the Wombats, featuring a story and activities inspired by Work It Out Wombats! Come read, play, and work it out with Zadie, Zeke, and Malik!

📖 It’s a PBS KIDS party

Meet Young Will Byers
Saturday, August 22 @ The Reading Room | 3:00 PM

Something strange is happening at The Reading Room! Luke Kokotek, who plays young Will Byers in Stranger Things, will be hanging out for a special meet & greet and autograph signing. Stranger Things fans won’t want to miss this chance to meet one of Hawkins’ own right here in Chattanooga. 

🚲 Should I stay or should I go?

Aetna Mountain Trails Phase II Grand Opening
Friday, August 21 @ Aetna Mountain Trailhead | 3:30 PM

Time to break in some brand-new trails! Celebrate the grand opening of Phase II, adding four new miles and doubling the size of the trail system. The expansion includes new beginner and intermediate loops, so hikers and riders have even more of the mountain to explore!

🚵Take a hike

Chattanooga Paddle Parade
Saturday, August 22 @ Rivermont Park Launch Site | 8:30 AM

Grab a paddle because this parade is headed downriver! The Chattanooga Paddle Parade invites paddlers to dress up, decorate their boats, and paddle four miles through the heart of the city. No kayak? No problem! A limited number will be available to borrow for free for the parade. 

🛶 Go with the flow

Got somethin’ you wanna tell the community about?

Tell us all about it with our new and improved events form, or just reply to this email with your event details and we’ll go from there!

Nooga Wing & Beer Week is here from the folks at Nooga Nightlife always plottin’ new ways for folks to try some wicked limited-time offerings across Chattanooga’s favorite eateries! Runnin’ today until Sunday, ya got $8 featured wings and $5 locally-brewed beerskis at better’n twenty spots around town. Meemaw says ya can’t go wrong with that price, ‘specially in this heatwave!

Wanderlinger’s tossin’ their chickens in the ring with a pastrami dry rub with oak-smoked ranch, Hello Monty’s grillin’ em with Alabama white sauce, and I even saw someone gettin’ fruity with peach hot honey and even a blackberry-tossed wing… ain’t gonna lie, I’ve been thinkin’ about it since I sprung outta bed.

You can download the NoogaNightlife+ app to check in and vote on your favorites, and see what the rest of the Chattanooga community is weighin’ in on the wings throughout the week.

If ya been meanin’ to try a place and kept drivin’ past it, let this be your excuse to order a basket or two of extra crispy wings — they ain’t a food ya eat alone!

This past weekend, Meemaw hauled me an’ Clementine down to Ross’s Landing for Chattanooga’s River Games, which if ya missed it, is three whole days of aquatic folks doin’ things with their bodies that I did not know a body could do.

Lemme set the scene: Friday evenin’, river all gold and syrupy, with a DJ WICKA-WICKA’ing somewhere behind us. About sixty-five feet in the air, there’s a lady standin’ on a itty-bitty platform with her toes clutchin’ the edge while hypin’ herself up. Then, she just goes. Flips twice, folds up like a lawn chair, and plops into the Tennessee River like it was any other day to her. Clementine SCRUMPT her loudest scream in celebration, grabbin’ my arm and hollering something that I ain’t gonna repeat on account of Meemaw reads this newsletter.

Now, I gotta confess somethin’: I cannot swim fer the life of me.

Yeah yeah get it out, “Bubby you’re just a land lubber” and whatnot. I got excuses polished up like good silver — don’t like the smell of chlorine, my ears do a thing, i’ll prolly explode if I touch the water — the usual stories. Really, I’ve just been kinda scared. But after that performance Friday, it was time to throw off the arm floaties and learn. So yesterday, I marched through the gates of the Red Bank community pool with my super-duper soft towel and a fresh pair of trunks.

It uh… it did not go well.

Prior to my arrival that day I watched swimmin’ tutorials on The Tube, watched my fair share of Michael Phelps Subway commercials, and practiced holding my breath as long as possible until Meemaw told me I was gonna give myself brain damage (🙄). As soon as I lowered myself down the side of the pool wall, imagine my shock when my body just plum sunk like a sack of rocks thrown off the Walnut Street Bridge. I grabbed the wall and pulled myself up sputterin’ like a jalopy at an antique road show.

Second time, I resorted to flailin’. I felt like I was starting to get the hang of it, but I’m pretty sure everyone else at the pool thought I was a possessed child fightin’ a ghost. It got to the point that the lifeguard leaned over confused as to if I was even in real danger or not. “Little man, you know you can just… stand up, right?” Pfft, yeah try standing in FOUR FEET of water and see how you like it!

The whole time, hangin’ poolside in plastic chairs sat Meemaw with her prized Stanley cup and sun-visor, and Clementine with a variety of handmade posterboard signs that she was making on the fly. One said GO BUBBY GO (do not die) with a drawin’ of what I guess was unflatteringly me. Every time I came up sputterin’ for air she would holler something along the lines of, “THAT WAS UH… BETTER!” which was not true a single time.

Round about try number nine, while idly wading at the wall contemplating my series of self water-boarding attempts, I figured that was enough for the day. Most folks would probably feel embarrassed as all get-out for not gettin’ the hang of it, but every time I went under I kept thinkin’ of that lady-diver gracefully cutting through the water on Friday evening. She didn’t start her journey belly-flopping from sixty feet in the air, no-siree. She flopped one after another until she had the courage to go higher and higher each time.

You prolly got a deep end too that you ain’t touched yet: A pottery class you’ve wanted to take, the open mic you swore you’d come to next month, or even an apology that you’ve been writin’ out the past couple of years. I’d betcha a Coke the reason y’ain’t done it is ‘cause you can already picture yerself sinkin’ stupid deep after doin’ it.

Truth is, it’ll probably be weird, uncomfortable and maybe even suck. But when you finally do it, keep doing it so it’s a hair less awful each time.

If yer lookin’ for advice to sum all this storytellin’ shenanigans up: Jump off the deep end every time.

And if ya go under, well, just stand up. Sometimes it ain’t as deep as it feels. 🫶

Every year in January I set a reading goal for how many books I want to read in a year. I met my goal every year there for a while! But last year, my goal was 100 books, and I… did not read 100 books. So this year, I decided to run it back with the same goal again this year. 100 books for 2026.

I DID IT, FOLKS.

Last night I finished my 100th book for the year and you know what, I’m a little bit excited about it. My mom says I always have my nose in a book and my head in the clouds, and I guess she must be right. I do, in fact, enjoy a good book. I’m a quick reader and always ready for the next one. What can I say? I am a bibliophile to my core.

Bubby says I’m a Book Goblin, but guess what? He’s one, too! He’s read eight whole books already this year. His goal is ten, and he’s gonna be there before you know it. I’m so proud of him.

I guess I need a new reading goal now, since we’ve got four more months in the year. A Book Goblin’s work is never done, you know. What’s been a good book you’ve been readin’ so far? Reply with some suggestions to add to my list!

Meemaw’s hollerin’ that the wings are gettin’ cold, so I gotta scoot.

Your assignment this week ain’t a hard one: get yourself in some water. That’s it. Showers and bath tubs count btw.

Last one in’s a rotten Moonpie,

— Bubby & Clementine