Happy Tuesday, Table Setter!
Yes, today's Tuesday. No, I ain't gonna make excuses, though if anybody asks a raccoon got into the printer (and you would be SURPRISED what them fellers can do with a single ink cartridge).
Anyhow! Gotta few things to catch ya up on: a back to school potluck you're invited to, an update on our porch expansion announcement, and some news from Clementine that she’s real sorry to be the one deliverin'.
Without further ado, let’s get into it!
Today's Issue Includes:
As always, we’ve added a fresh track to this week’s issue purely for vibes as you read. Click the link below before ya start reading if you wanna listen!
This week’s Front Porch Partner is Go-To-Millions!
Together with
This week's Front Porch Partner is Go-to-Millions, the ecommerce growth newsletter from Ari Murray that’s packed to the brim with tactical stuff for operators, and no mushy strategy in sight. Every lil' click sends $1.31 jingle janglin' straight into the Chattynooga coin purse. Appreciate ya, neighbor!
Alright Ari, show 'em how it's done!
Your Boss Will Think You’re an Ecom Genius
If you’re optimizing for growth, you need ecomm tactics that actually work. Not mushy strategies.
Go-to-Millions is the ecommerce growth newsletter from Ari Murray, packed with tactical insights, smart creative, and marketing that drives revenue.
Every issue is built for operators: clear, punchy, and grounded in what’s working, from product strategy to paid media to conversion lifts.
Subscribe for free and get your next growth unlock delivered weekly.
What’s Goin’ On in the Scenic City?
Community
Summer Singles Social
Thursday, July 30 @ HiFi Clydes | 5:30-7:30 PM
If you’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places, Date Chattanooga has got your back! Come make some new pals in a casual atmosphere where you can have fun and be yourself. Who knows; this could be the moment you’ve been waiting for!
AAPI Potluck
Sunday, August 2 @ Studio Ours | 4:00 - 6:30 PM
Bring your best Asian dish and your appetite for this community potluck cookout! Grab some tasty Asian-inspired offerings from local food trucks and vendors and learn about the important work of the AAPI Collective of Chattanooga and the Tennessee Immigrant and Refugee Rights Coalition as they support immigrant and refugee communities. Come hungry and ready to celebrate culture, community, and great food!
Music and Entertainment
Night Market: Crimson Court
Friday, July 31 @ In and Around Frazier | 7:00 - 10:00 PM
Vampires are taking over the Night Market for one unforgettable evening! Check out local artists and makers, tattoo artists, live painting, drop-in D&D, a magician, food, drinks, and plenty of magical surprises. Come dressed to impress, because the best dressed vampire will earn a coveted spot in the Crimson Court!
Bop to the Top
Saturday, August 30 @ The Signal | 9:00 PM
Disney Channel kids, this one is for you! Get down to all the hits from HSM, Cheetah Girls, Camp Rock, and more all night long! Grab your friends, dress the part, and get ready to dance the night away.
FarleyCon
Saturday and Sunday, August 1-2 @ Camp Jordan @ 10:00 AM - 6:00 PM / 11:00 AM - 5:00 PM
Comic book nerds, ASSEMBLE! Get ready for celebrity guests, dozens of vendors, costume contests, and star studded panel discussions. You’ll even get a chance to check out JoeNooga, the largest G.I. Joe reunion and celebration in the world!
Outdoors ‘n’ Stuff
Hamilton County Schools Back to School Bash
Saturday, August 1 @ Tennessee Riverpark | 10:00 AM - 1:00 PM
Read more about it in Clem’s Corner down below!
Not Your Basic B2S Bash
Sunday, August 2 @ Miller Park | 1:00 - 4:00 PM
Read more about it in Clem’s Corner down below!
National Train Show 2026
Saturday and Sunday, August 1-2 @ Chattanooga Convention Center | 9:00 AM - 4:00 PM
The National Train Show is pulling into Chattanooga! From tiny railroads with incredible detail to immersive, hands-on experiences, there’s something for everyone. Bubby’s breaking out his train whistle for this one!
Got somethin’ cookin’ that the Scenic City oughta know about?
Tell us all about it with our new and improved events form, or just reply to this email with your event details and we’ll go from there!
The Garden House Is Savin' You a Seat
Y'all remember that Back-to-School Cookout we hollered about over at Chester Frost last week? The report came back and I 'bout yodeled out of my britches: more than fifty neighbors got fed. Fifty! Plates and school supplies and clothes goin' out the door all afternoon, free as the air, and not one soul asked to prove they deserved a thing.
Lookit all them school supplies! Thanks so much to everyone who donated!
That's just how The Garden House does it. They're a grassroots little outfit up in Soddy whose whole reason for bein' is feedin' folks and clothin' folks and generally lookin' after neighbors, and I keep chewin' on their motto: where you'll always have a seat at our table. ‘
Ain't that somethin'? Which brings me to the good part, 'cause they're settin' that table again and one of them chairs has got your name on it.
The Garden House’s Community Potluck is coming back on Saturday, August 8 at the Soddy Community Center from 3PM to 6PM
There'll be a meal waitin' on ya, plus clothing and pantry items, a whole mess of kind neighbors, and — say it with me now — it's all free. Bring a casserole if you're the casserole-conjurin’ type, a bag of chips if that's what's in the pantry before you head out, or nothin' at all but your own good self..
A longer table filled with conversation beats a fuller one every single time.
About That Porch Expansion...
Alright, I gotta be straight with ya, 'cause that's how we do things around here and Meemaw told me to quit lollygaggin’ around.
Last week I told y'all we were fixin' to send invitations that very same day to our most active neighbors, and that we'd have a big reveal for ya this week.
Well uh… them invitations ain't gone out yet. 😅
BUUUUUT! Here's what happened, and it ain't exactly a bad thing: I got in there and started buildin' the space out, knockin’ a few walls down, and prolly would make Ty Pennington from Extreme Home Makeover proud.
That said, I realized pretty quick that "good enough to open" and "good enough to be worth your time" are two mighty different bars. And since we're askin' folks to show up somewhere new within the Chattyverse, we'd rather hand ya somethin' that feels like a place instead of an empty room.
Here's the promise, though: invitations go out by the end of this week. Our most active readers get first look, and the whole point of goin' small first is that we want y'all pokin' around, breakin' things, and tellin' us what's missin' before we open it up to the whole neighborhood!
If you're readin' this and thinkin', "Well I'd like in early too, Bubs”, just reply to this email and say so. Ain't no velvet rope here (although Clementine may double as a Bouncer if we can’t find anyone tougher).
Thanks for bein' patient with us. Somethin' worth sittin' on with your pals takes a minute to build!
Clementine’s Corner: It’s almost school szn (yay!)
Good morning Chattynooga readers,
This is Clementine McBride coming to you with breaking news. It has recently come to my attention that this weekend is in fact the LAST weekend before school starts back.
I, too, am shocked at how quickly summer has flown by. But back to school means school supplies, and I have GREAT news on that front! Hamilton County Schools and the City of Chattanooga are throwing some back to school parties you don't wanna miss!
Saturday, August 1 from 10:00 AM–1:00 PM, the Hamilton County Schools' Back to School Bash is taking over the Tennessee Riverpark! Come out for free health screenings, free school supplies, and all the info you need to get ready for the new school year!
Then on Sunday, August 2, join the City of Chattanooga for Not Your Basic BTS Bash, from 1–4 PM at Miller Park. You'll learn about Chattanooga Basics — "five evidence-based parenting and caregiving principles that can benefit children from all backgrounds." Community partners will share resources for students and families, and you can grab school supplies while you're there!
Friends, the end of summer is nigh. I hope that means it's going to cool off soon… I don't think that's happening, though.
Teachers, have a great first day back for the year. Students, enjoy your last weekend before you head back!
This has been Clementine McBride for Chattynooga. 🫡
Thanks for leavin’ the porch light on for us, pal!
We appreciate you continuin’ to sit with us, even onna hot Tuesday evenin’.
Keep an eye on your inbox toward the end of the week: we'll have somethin' waitin' for ya.
Till then, be good to somebody.
— Bubby & Clementine
