Welcome back!

Happy Monday, buddies! We sure missed ya these last two weeks, so we’re happy to catch up with what all has been goin’ on lately! Oh, and also we got a little surprise for ya 👀Startin’ today, you’ll be hearin’ from us Every Monday movin’ forward (unless somethin’ crazylike happens, but we’ll be sure to give ya a heads up if so!)

Anyway, we’re switchin’ some things up this week with a new skit, and a deep thought from yours truly.

Today's Issue Includes:

• Chattanooga's Upcoming Events

• Community Spotlight: Out Here Askin' with Clementine

• Stuff I Saw on the Internet: The Tale of Chill Guy

• A Deep Thought from Bubby

• Clementine's Corner

• Wrap Up

What’s Goin’ On in the Scenic City?

Spring’s stretchin’ her legs, and so are we. Whether you’re plant-partyin’, glitter-gluin’, waterfall-watchin’, or derby-screamin’, there’s somethin’ good waitin’ for ya out there. Pack yer tote, lace up yer boots, and get ready to roam, y’all.

Community

Girls Gone Green
Saturday, March 29, 2025 @ Oddstory Brewing Co: The Greenhouse
Now listen - if you love your plants like they’re your emotional support children and own at least one pair of overalls just for “vibing,” this night’s for you. The Girls Chattanooga are throwin’ a leafy lil’ shindig full of green fits, good sips, and new pals who’ll hype your monstera like it’s a newborn baby.
🪴Bring your best fern and your finest eyeliner — let’s get photosyntheslit.

Chattanooga Craft Circle Open Craft Night
Wednesday, March 26, 5:00-7:30, @ Downtown Public Library
Wanna crochet your feelings? Cross-stitch your stress away? Or just glue some googly eyes on something ‘cause it makes you feel alive? Grab your tote bag and meet the friendliest bunch of crafters this side of the Tennessee River. No rules, no pressure - just snacks, scraps, and soft lighting.
🧤 Come as you are, leave with glitter on your face.

Music & Entertainment

Dreamgirls Opening Day
Opens Friday, March 28 @ Chattanooga Theatre Center
Get ready for powerhouse vocals, dazzling gowns, and a whole lotta drama (the good kind). Dreamgirls hits the stage with heart, heat, and harmonies as The Dreams chase fame through the highs and heartbreaks of the ‘60s music scene. If you ain’t seen Effie sing “And I Am Telling You” live, you’re missin’ out on a holy experience.
🎤 Grab your seat before the spotlight hits—it’s showtime.

Hadestown 
March 28–30, 2025 @ Soldiers & Sailors Memorial Auditorium
This ain't your average love story - it’s myth, music, and heartbreak served with haunting harmonies and New Orleans brass. Winner of 8 Tony Awards (!!!), Hadestown brings the ancient tale of Orpheus and Eurydice to the stage with stunning visuals and songs that’ll stick to your ribs.
🎭 Go ahead and cry in public - it’s worth it.

Outdoors ‘n’ Sporty Sports Stuff

Open Gate Day at Lula Lake
Saturday, March 29 @ Lula Lake Land Trust
The gates are open, the trails are callin’, and that big ol’ waterfall is ready for its close-up. Whether you’re there to chase views, get some peace and quiet, or pretend you're in a nature documentary, this is one of the Scenic City’s finest slices of wild. Limited tickets, lots of trail magic.
🌿 Grab yours before they vanish like mist off the bluff.

Chattanooga Roller Derby Season Opener
Saturday, March 29 @ Camp Jordan Arena
Skates are on, elbows are out, and the Honky Tonk Heifers are comin’ in hot. It’s the first home bout of the season, and Chattanooga’s newest derby teams are ready to throw down (with flair and fishnets, obviously). From the Ruby Regulators to the Thiccin Nuggets, it’s gonna be fast, fierce, and full of chaotic good energy.
🛼 Lace up your boots and bring your loudest cheer voice—it’s derby time!

Got an event that yer sure is gonna blow our socks off? Well bud, why didn’t ya tell us sooner?

Community Spotlight: Out Here Askin' with Clementine

Hi! It’s me, Clementine. Today I’m bringing you a brand-new, very official reporting segment. I’ve been out hitting the streets, asking the really important questions… the fun ones, the snack ones, the hard-hitting ones. I’m chatting with some of my favorite folks in and around Chattanooga to get the answers y’all really wanna know. This… is OUT HERE ASKIN’.

Katie at Creative Compass, LLC (@creativecompass_design_)

1. What’s the weirdest snack you’ve ever eaten while making a marketing plan? Be honest. Typically it’s a Poppi - strawberry lemon or the raspberry rose. Followed by the goods. I’m a low-key Aldis fan and rummage the snacks. I really love the cauliflower crackers and raw carrots, and I give the carrots to my pup Penny! We also have nightly apple/peanut butter work nights 🙂 dog friendly.

   

   And yes, don’t worry, we sure did get a picture of the good pupper.

2. Do you think logos have secret lives when no one’s lookin’? What does yours do at night? YES! They go wild 👀! When the sun sets, our logos don’t just sleep—they come alive! 🌙✨ Hopping from page to page, splashing colors like confetti at a party! 🎉💼 Let the creative mischief begin the mummer… stealing the spotlight!

Amanda, Chattanooga’s TN Area Guide (@exploringchatt)

1. Have you ever been somewhere and thought, “Okay… this is a secret spot - I’m not tellin’ anybody”? Someone's being tricky and trying to pry secret gems from my database, haha. To be honest, my goal is to share all the amazing places around the Chattanooga area so everyone can enjoy them! But, there is one local hiking spot that I will not share (oops, am I sharing it now?) simply because the parking area can only hold a few cars, and I don't want to overcrowd it. It's a place for those who know where it is, although it's also on Google Maps, so it's not really a secret.

2. Would you rather explore the city on an e-scooter, or in one of those funny duck boats? That's a real tough one! I hate watching the e-scooters litter the sidewalks, but on the other hand, I think I'd prefer traveling that way cause I can visit more spots than the duck boats do. But also, being able to ride through the city on the road and the river is a neat trick!

Silas at The Bohemian Village (@thebohemianvillage)

1. What made you wanna open a spot like this—with music, art, and good-for-you stuff all in one place? To create a peaceful atmosphere for customers to take their mind off the stresses of daily life and soak in good energy. A place to just chill, enjoy a cold-pressed juice, herbal tea, or some plant-based food and relax for a bit.

2. If you could serve your juice to any historical figure, who would it be and what would you hand them? I would serve our ‘Natural Wealth’ cold pressed juice to Bob Marley. It has kale, spinach, apple, celery, broccoli, basil, and lemon.

Regina at Wellspring Coaching (@wellspring_coaching)

1. Do you think your thoughts ever just wanna hold hands with each other but forget how? YES. Sometimes they play those kids handshake games and other times they’re like what even is a hand.

2. If you made a weighted blanket out of only compliments, what kind of nice things would it whisper to people at bedtime?

   1. You’re doing better than you think you are

   2. Very specific examples of awesome things you’ve done (made people laugh, were brave, achieved a dream)

   3. You’re hot

   4. You’ve got all the time you need

Josh of The Daily Refresh (@joshrobinsontv)

1. Was being on TV as fun as it looked, or were there, like… a lot of meetings? It’s a lot of fun AND there are lots of meetings. I was also the Executive Producer so when I wasn’t on camera I was back in the control keeping the show running smoothly and on time! But getting to share stories of our local businesses and community members was the best part of the day!

2. What local landmark would make the best hide-and-seek spot? The best landmark for hide and seek would have to be the TN aquarium! There are so many floors and little nooks to hide in! The seeker would be giving up long before they found everyone!

Luther at Noke’s Granola (@nokesgranola)

1. Be honest… what makes Nokes granola not boring? Like, why should someone pick yours instead of the stuff that tastes like cardboard? Our flavors are not your typical pour some old saw dust into a bowl type granola. We make every batch from scratch, by hand, and with love! With large clusters of different nuts, dried fruits, and old fashioned gluten-free oats it really is a snack for everyone!

2. Okay, so obviously granola is good on yogurt. Everyone knows that. But what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever put granola on that actually tasted good? Would you believe I made a chili using oats instead of ground beef? It was actually pretty dang good and turned out to be a very good vegan dish and had folks lined up for seconds at the Chili Cook-Off at the Chattanooga Market!

Sarah at Wayfinder Thrift (@wayfinder.thrift)

1. What’s the very first thing you look for when you walk into a thrift store? Honestly, a vintage suede leather jacket is something I will always be on the look for when it comes to sourcing items for my business. If that says anything about my taste, you tell me haha

2. If Wayfinder had a theme song that played every time you opened your booth, what would it be? Bittersweet Symphony by Marc Scibilia

Lee at Girlie Pop Co. Banners (@girliepop.co)

1. What would a girlie pop banner say if it had to deliver bad news but still be really cute about it? “RIP to my marriage” — picture pink tombstones, dramatic florals, and a tiny ghost holding a glass of champagne and divorce papers. Elegant, unhinged, and a little bit classy.

2. What’s your dream banner commission? Like, skywriting-level epic. Or maybe just a birthday party for a goat named Kevin? Honestly? A birthday party for a goat named Kevin sounds iconic. But if we’re talkin’ dream banner territory, it’d probably be something totally extra - like a surprise engagement at a disco-themed roller rink, complete with a Taylor Swift impersonator, a vintage champagne tower, and custom everything from the banner to the nail decals. Basically, if it’s over-the-top and a little unhinged… I’m in.

The Chattanooga Lookouts Baseball Team (@chattlookouts)

1. When’s the first game of the season, and what’s the best Opening Day snack combo? Opening Day at AT&T Field is Tuesday, April 8th. First pitch is at 7:15 PM and gates open at 6:00 PM. We will have a 2025 magnet schedule giveaway upon exit! The best Opening Day snack combo is obviously a hotdog, peanuts, and a cold beer!

2. If a baseball game accidentally turned into a dance-off, which player would win and what would their move be? The Outfielders would win because they would steal the show with their leaps and acrobatics! To close down the show, they would do one of their classic, funny celebrations as a group.

Welp, there ya have it folks. How’s that for gettin’ the big scoop on Chattanooga’s streets?

Wanna tell me about something super cool your business does? Or maybe you just wanna say, “Oh my gosh, Clementine, you’re SO cool so I’m writing you fan mail!!” Either way let us know with the magical little form we made (it’s even more magical than before)!

The Tale of Chill Guy: When a Laid-Back Dog Took Over the Whole Dang Internet

Well butter my biscuits, y’all — the internet’s got itself a new mascot, and lemme tell ya, he ain’t barkin’ up no wrong tree. His name’s Chill Guy, and he’s just a cartoon dog with a ballcap, a belly, and the emotional range of a porch swing on a Sunday afternoon:

But somehow? He’s takin’ over TikTok, football games, Halloween parties, and even the doggone stock market. (Don’t ask me how — I’m still tryin’ to figure out how Bitcoin works.)

Now this Chill Guy fella started as a doodle by a guy named Phillip Banks, who posted him online for funsies. Next thing ya know, everybody’s sharin’ it like wildfire, sayin’ stuff like “Me when I forget to worry” or “This is my vibe now.” Folks just loved how calm he looked - like the kinda pup who’d remind you to breathe if your brain got too noisy.

But then things got kinda weird. Somebody made a cryptocurrency named after him (I reckon that's like pretend internet money?), and it blew up big-time. We’re talkin’ millions. All while poor Phillip was sittin’ there goin’, “Uhhh, I didn’t say y’all could do that.” He had to wrangle his rights back like a cowboy roundin’ up cattle - WOO DOGGY.

It’s a real bless-your-heart moment for internet artists. Folks create somethin’ from scratch, the world falls in love with it, and then big brands and bootleggers start cashin’ in faster than you can say “copyright infringement.”

So what can we learn from this?

1. The internet moves fast, so keep yer boots laced.

2. Even a cartoon dog can go viral if he’s chill enough.

3. Artists deserve their dang credit (and maybe a paycheck too).

My Socks are still Wet, but My Heart’s Kinda Full: A Deep Thought from Bubby

Y’all ever step in somethin’ so dramatic, so emotionally devastating, so wildly inconvenient that it changes the trajectory of your whole day?

Let me set the scene. It was a Tuesday. I was wearin’ my fresh socks. The sky looked like it hadn’t made up its mind. I was feelin’ decent, even kinda hopeful. Then it happened. I was walkin’ through the parking lot behind the Northshore Publix, just mindin’ my business, when BAM:

I done plunged ankle-deep into the Mariana Trench of puddles.

I’m talkin’ a full-foot soak. My sock didn’t even have time to scream. The puddle wasn’t visible - it was one of them camouflaged suckers. Looked like a light shimmer on the pavement, like the kind of water you'd skip rocks across if you were three inches tall. And yet? It devoured me whole.

My reaction was swift and full of unnecessary flair:

• Dropped my grocery bag (RIP the strawberries).

• Whispered “this is how it ends” to no one in particular.

• Considered throwin’ the whole foot away.

I SQUEENK-SQUONKED into the store with the grace of a sea creature. The woman at the flower counter asked if I needed help. I said,

And then, somewhere between the self-checkout and my shame, I got to thinkin’.

About puddles. About how a small thing, when yer already carryin’ too much, can feel like a disaster. It wasn’t just the puddle. It was everythin’ underneath it:

• I hadn’t slept right in 2 days.

• My head was noisy (I had airpods in.)

• I’d been tryin’ to hold it all together with a smile and a cold brew.

And the puddle? Well, it just made the invisible mess feel visible. For a moment, I wasn’t just wet - I was unraveled.

But, y’know what?

I sat on a rock with my sad socks layin’ across my knee like laundry, and I let the sun warm ‘em up. Some lady walked by with her dog and didn’t even blink. I realized nobody cared that I looked mildly unhinged. And that felt weirdly comforting.

Because life is puddles sometimes. We step in 'em. We freak out. We get mad. And then… we squeenk-squonk forward anyway.

So here’s what I’ll leave ya with:

If you're feelin' soggy - emotionally, metaphorically, or just literally: I'm with ya, bud. Been there, stomped in that. If somethin’ small made you cry bigger tears than you expected, that’s alright too.

And if you're tryin' to dry out on a sunny rock right now? That counts as progress. Spring's showin’ up, one daffodil and dogwood at a time.

You're allowed to start over — even in wet shoes.

Clementine’s Corner

I know spring just got here, but I’m already dreaming about summer vacation! Since Bubby and I are officially big kids (with very important reporter duties), we’re ready to make this the best summer in history.

We’re super pumped for all the fun stuff going on in Chattanooga, but we’re even more excited about tryin’ something totally new…

🎉 We’re going to summer camp! 🎉

We’re still scoping out our options and need your help. What’s the best camp around here?! We wanna make memories, eat snacks, and probably win a canoe race or something.

Send me a message if you’ve got any awesome camp suggestions! Me and Bubby are packing our bug spray just in case. 🐛🧃💛

Well Shoot, That’s the Whole Dang Issue!

We squelched our way through soggy socks and soft starts this week, and wouldn’t you know it, things still found a way to bloom. That’s the Chattanooga way: even when your plans get puddled, the porch light’s still on and the trail dries up eventually.

Clem says the cure for a rough day is a front porch chat with someone who’ll let you ramble, cry a little, then laugh about it two minutes later. I say that (and maybe a fresh MoonPie) could fix just about anything.

So if this issue made you smile, chuckle, or feel a little more seen, consider buyin’ your neighborhood newsletter crew a sweet treat or a sweet tea. We’ll holler back with love, gratitude, and probably another overdramatic weather story.

‘Til next time,
— Bubby & Clem