Well howdy, Nutcrackers!
Come on up and shake off that Chattanooga chill. The porch is feelin’ extra glowy this week, partly because December’s coziness is rollin’ in… and partly because a certain lil’ fella’s birthday is fast approaching. Yep — Bubby’s turnin’ one year sillier, and we’re more grateful for all the pals who’ve gathered ’round this porch with us to celebrate!
While we’ve been keepin’ our hands warm on mugs of cocoa, we’ve also been busy buildin’ somethin’ special for y’all: a full-blown Chattanooga Christmas Lights Guide! Whether you’re drivin’ slow through the suburbs or wanderin’ downtown under those crisp winter stars, we rounded up the best ways to soak up the season’s sparkle and tucked it neatly onto one shiny lil’ page. Can’t wait for you to have a peek at it!
Today's Issue Includes:
Make sure ya hop into this week’s theme song as ya listen, the whole album is a great medley of Covers to vibe along to!
This week’s Front Porch Partner: Livelong Media
This here’s a little corner of the newsletter where we feature a partner who helps keep this digital porch swing movin’. It ain’t local-local, but every click on their ad helps support the work we do and lets us keep buildin’ somethin’ special with y’all.
Even if ya don’t sign up, just tappin’ the ad tosses a dollar in the Chattynooga piggy bank, so thanks for helpin’ us keep the lights on.
Alrighty Livelong Media, take it away!
Looking for unbiased, science-based advice to live longer?
Subscribe to Livelong and get current, clinically grounded insights on diet, exercise, supplementation, and restorative sleep—pulled from the latest research and turned into do-this-now checklists. For serious health enthusiasts, Livelong makes longevity practical, measurable, and real.

What’s Goin’ On in the Scenic City?
Community
Burlap Winter Market
December 13 @ Burlap Print & Press | 11 AM–4 PM
Shop a fun mix of local artists, then stick around for the clay workshop, food truck, and live music. Come ready to browse, snack, and make something cool while you’re at it.
Nooga Santa Pub Crawl (21+)
December 13 @ Multiple Locations | 3 PM–3 AM
A twelve-hour Santa takeover hits more than 20 bars across Chattanooga, all benefiting Toys for Tots. DJs, karaoke, live music, and holiday spirit(s) keep the crawl going all night long.
Chattanooga Queer Empowerment Collective Holiday Market
December 14 @ St. Andrew’s Center | 12–5 PM
Shop handmade gifts and stocking stuffers from independent local makers. All proceeds support mutual aid work in the community.
Music & Entertainment
Chattanooga Ballet’s The Nutcracker
December 12–14 @ Soldiers & Sailors Memorial Auditorium
A classic holiday production featuring live music from the Chattanooga Symphony and over 200 local ballet students. Join Clara, the Nutcracker, and the Sugar Plum Fairy as they dance their way through a fantastic adventure.
Ugly Christmas Sweater Vinyl Party
December 13 @ North Paloma | 5–9 PM
A holiday hang curated by Yellow Racket Records with classic vinyl spinning all night. Grab your best sweater and a Santa hat and get ready to party.
Cirque du Slay
December 13 @ The Boneyard | 8 PM
Aerials, drag, burlesque, and (of course) a costume contest come together for a holiday show that’s anything but traditional. Expect glitter, glam, and all the fa-la-la-fabulousness you can handle.
Outdoors ‘n’ Stuff
Christmas with Alpacas
December 13 @ Rosie Mae’s Alpaca Farm | 10 AM–6 PM
Meet the alpacas, check out a huge lineup of local vendors, and grab snacks and treats from the food trucks. And you definitely don’t want to miss Santa Jeff!
🦙 Have yourself a wooly little Christmas.Christmas in the Country
December 13 @ McDonald Farm | 10 AM–4 PM
A full day of winter fun with local makers, crafts, treats, and festive farm vibes. Carolers, lights, and holiday activities make this a sweet, small-town way to celebrate the season.
Christmas Canvas & Cow Cuddles
December 13 @ Blessing Creek Farms | 2–5 PM
Spend a cozy afternoon painting a Highland-themed Christmas canvas with snacks, drinks, and plenty of farm charm. You’ll also get photos and cuddles with Coco, the cutest Highland calf and real star of the show.
🐮 COWS!!!
Got somethin’ cookin’ that the Scenic City oughta know about? Wanna talk about how cool your weekend was? Tell us all about it! Just reply to this message, or send a separate one to [email protected]!
Hand-Picked Community Spotlight: IT’S LIT! Chattynooga’s 2025 Christmas Light Guide

Clementine here with a SPECIAL Report this week! 🎄
Y’all have officially unlocked one of my proudest creations of the whole holiday season. I’ve been clickin’, scrollin’, and ho-ho-HUSTLIN’ to round up every light display that the Scenic City has to offer! Instead of stuffing all that sparkle into your inbox like a Christmas stocking about to burst, we built something even better:
A full, dedicated Christmas Lights Guide that’s live on our website right now!
It’s got the whole shebang:
Big-ticket light shows from folks at Ruby Falls and Rock City
The cozy neighborhood displays perfect for evening drives
Some hidden gems folks whispered over to us
The local homes goin' full Clark Griswold
And so much more!
If you wanna find something magical this month that hasn’t quite ignited that Holiday Spark quite yet — whether you’ve got kids in the backseat, a hot cocoa in hand, or just need a lil’ joy after a long day — this guide’s your new best friend.

A Birthday Wish Come True, Tenfold
Well… here we are, pals. Another December, another swirl of twinklin’ lights and holiday cheer. December’s always been my favorite month, because all of the awesome get-togethers happen all within one month: including my birthday!
Truth be told, I been sittin’ on the porch thinking harder than a squirrel tryin’ to do calculus about what this past year’s meant to me. The more I think, the warmer my chest feels, like somebody tucked a fresh-baked muffin right behind my ribs.
Because this year… this one right here… might just be the best one I’ve ever had.
Not ‘cause of big milestones or shiny trophies or anything fancy. But because somewhere along the way between typing out my first “Heya, Neighbor!” and postin’ whatever stream of consciousness came up on our social outposts, y’all just kinda… showed up.
One by one, porch seat by porch seat, until suddenly this curious kiddo from Soddy-Daisy had friends scattered all across Chattanooga… and beyond.
And goodness gracious, what a gift that’s been to share with you.
Truth be told, I used to think adventure meant packin’ a bag, runnin’ off to faraway places like Disney World, maybe climbin’ a mountain or wrestlin’ a raccoon (don’t try that last one, Meemaw says). But as it turns out, the biggest adventure I ever went on was simply steppin’ outta my backyard and sayin’ hello.
Hello turned into conversations. Conversations turned into community. And community turned into somethin’ I didn’t even know I was missin’ until it landed right in my lap like a sleepy stray cat.
This lil’ corner of the internet we’ve built to just come together and catch up each week gave me new pals from every direction. Folks who read along during their morning coffee, who reply with stories of their own, and ones who wander back here week after week to laugh, cry, and say “Hmm, y’know what? That’s a very interesting take Bubby.” alongside me.
And I mean you, too. Yep, even you readin’ this sentence right now. You’re a part of the magic.
So as I blow out the candles this year, here’s what I’m wishin’ for:
That the porch keeps growin’, while remaining true to the southern hospitality and intentionality that got us here in the first place. If we can stay true to that, then the stories we continue to create together will write themselves.
Thanks for coming back while allowing me to grow up — and continuing to stay small a little — together.
Now let’s see what next 2026 has got cookin’. I’ve got a feelin’ the best adventures are just gettin’ warmed up. 🫶🏻

Clementine’s Corner: Treat Yo' Self
Even though I can’t believe there are only three of ‘em left in 2025, I had a pretty dang good week, y’all. I taught Pickle a new game, Fannie Mae got a new Christmas outfit, and Bubby and I watched both Zenon: The Zequel AND Wicked: For Good (man, I love a good colon-happy movie masterpiece). And yesterday Meemaw took me and Bubby to the Soddy Daisy Christmas Parade! Those Shriners and the Tractor Gnome stole the show.
And when we got back home, Meemaw had made MY favorite holiday treat, Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes. I looked at Bubby immediately and said “My guy, you’re such a Christmas Tree Cake.” Weirdly, he didn’t get it. So, I figured I’d explain to him (and all of you), what your favorite Christmas treat says about you (according to me, Clementine McBride).
Gingerbread – traditional values, you value hard work, most likely to be on HGTV.
Peppermint bark – bold opinions, consistent, never afraid to speak your mind. Bubby would say you’re here for a good time not for a long time (whatever that means).
Fruitcake – sweet but a little nutty, probably had “wise for your age” written on your report cards, and you really love your grandparents.
Puppy chow – adventurous and full of surprises, kid at heart, never met a stranger in your life.
Sugar plums – a little bit dramatic, graceful and classy, always up for a good time.
Pillsbury Ready-to-Bake Holiday Cookies – great under pressure, a bit of a minimalist, tells good jokes.
Taylor Swift’s Chai Sugar Cookies – life of the party, likes to mix things up now and then, nostalgic queen energy.
Christmas Tree Cakes – charming and dependable, always looking on the bright side, everybody’s friend.
Popcorn garland – ok, be for real, do you actually exist? If you are the person who genuinely loves popcorn garland, please let me know. I want to make you one.
Now that you’re picking up what I’m putting down, which one would you say you are? Drop in the comments your Christmas Treat Personality (mainly because I’m curious and like to read ‘em while I’m snacking on a little snack after a long day.)

Thanks for comin’ over, friend. See you next Monday!
That’s the whole cozy bundle for this week. As we stroll deeper into December, we hope ya catch a few bright moments of your own, whether it’s a warm drink on a cold morning, a neighbor’s yard glowing just right, or a simple quiet minute that settles your spirit.
If you head out explorin’ with our Christmas Lights Guide, take us along in your pocket. Tell us what you find, what made you gasp, what made you grin like a kid who spotted Santa early!
Stay warm out there, take good care of your people, and meet us back here next week. We’ll keep the cocoa warm and the porch light glowin’ for ya.
— Bubby & Clementine





