Well shave my head and call me Uncle Fester!
How ya doin’ this week neighbor? Mind the cobwebs on the doorframe. I’m told they’re “decorations” now, but I’m pretty sure some of ’em are just regular cobwebs that got promoted after I mayy have overlooked ‘em while cleanin’. There’s a bowl of candy by the door I’ve been told not to touch, but you’re more than welcome to a couple if ya see any ya like.
It’s Hollerween week, y’all, and I’m so glad ya darkened our doorstep with your otherworldly presence. Alright, enough of the articulatin’ and allat, it’s time to plan the biggest candy heist this side of the Walnut Street Bridge!
Today's Issue Includes:
As always foolish mortals, we’ve added a ghoulish track to this week’s issue purely for vibes as you read. Click the link below before ya start reading if you wanna listen, or listen to the full Chattynooga playlist on Spotify!
This week’s Front Porch Partner is Pique Life!
Together with
Once the crisp fall air rolls in, my skin starts feelin' drier than these crunchy leaves under my boots. Lucky for us, Pique's gotta few tasty drinks that'll help keep ya hydrated and glowin' all season long.
Take it away, Pique!
Your Fall Glow-Up: Two Drinks for Hydrated, Plump-Looking Skin
Cooler weather can leave skin looking dull and feeling dry. Pique’s Radiant Skin Duo brings a beauty upgrade to your fall routine: two delicious daily drinks that support hydrated, plump, luminous-looking skin from within.
Start with creamy, organic Sun Goddess Matcha, packed with antioxidants that support healthy-looking skin. Then sip B·T Fountain, a refreshing beauty electrolyte combining clinically studied ceramides, hyaluronic acid and electrolytes to support hydration and a dewy glow.
The beauty benefits come with impressive clinical evidence. In a clinical trial of B·T Fountain’s ceramides, skin hydration improved 25% by day 15. By day 60, hydration improved 37%, elasticity improved 36% and wrinkle depth decreased 8.2%.
Morning matcha. Afternoon beauty hydration. An easy ritual that fits into busy fall days while supporting skin that looks smoother and feels replenished. Your favorite daily drinks become a simple skincare habit worth keep
What’s Goin’ On in the Scenic City?
Community
Frights & Pints
Friday, October 30 @ Chattanooga Zoo | 6:00 – 9:00 PM
Who says the kids get to have all the Halloween fun? Chattanooga Zoo is hosting a 21+ celebration with dancing, fire performers, a costume contest, and plenty of drinks to go around. It's Halloween after hours, and the zoo is letting the party animals loose!
The Garden House Halloween Carnival
Saturday, October 31 @ Soddy Daisy Mobile Home Park | 4:00 – 7:00 PM
A very special carnival is rolling into town, and you’re invited! Spend Halloween enjoying free food, old-school carnival games, and plenty of treats, with a limited number of meal kits also available for neighbors in need. Grab your costume and come celebrate spooky season with the neighborhood!
Nooga Halloween Crawl
Saturday, October 31 @ Various Chattanooga Locations | 3:00 PM – 3:00 AM
One Halloween party is fun, but how about twenty? The 3rd Annual Nooga Halloween Crawl connects more than 20 locations across Chattanooga for a night of drink specials, live entertainment, and no cover charges. Check out Nooga Nightlife for the full lineup of stops and special events, then plan your own haunted bar-hopping adventure!
Music and Entertainment
An Evening of Jazz
Thursday, October 29 @ White Duck Taco | 6:00 – 8:00 PM
Thursday nights could use a little more jazz! The Vine St. Jazz Collective is performing at White Duck Taco for a free evening of music under the open sky. Pack a lawn chair or blanket and settle in for a night of smooth tunes!
Symphonie Noir & The Moonlit Market
Thursday, October 29 @ Shuttle Park North's Rooftop | 7:00 PM
Who knows what might happen when the moon rises over Chattanooga? Symphonie Noir & The Moonlit Market combines live music with a mystical nighttime market featuring art, tarot readings, and a cash bar. Follow the moonlight to the rooftop for an evening of music and mystery!
United We Dance: Halloween Rave
Friday, October 30 @ The Signal | 9:00 PM – 12:00 AM
This Halloween party will be loud enough to wake the dead! United We Dance is taking over The Signal with a high-energy mix of house, techno, festival favorites, and electronic remixes. With costumes encouraged and a dance floor full of fellow night owls, this is one party that won't be resting in peace!
Outdoors ‘n’ Stuff
Haunted Grounds
Wednesday, October 28 – Saturday, October 31 @ McDonald Farm | Wed–Thu: 4:00 – 10:00 PM, Fri–Sat: 12:00 – 10:00 PM
Something sinister has taken over McDonald Farm! Explore haunted barns, brave the blackout maze, and encounter mysterious characters roaming the grounds, with food trucks and sweet treats waiting when you need a break. Just remember, it's all fun and games until something follows you home!
Zombie Archery
Friday, October 30 @ Outdoor Chattanooga Center | 3:30 – 5:30 PM
Think you've got what it takes to survive a zombie apocalypse? Outdoor Chattanooga is putting your aim to the test with a free archery experience where beginners can learn the basics before taking on the undead. This free, drop-in activity includes all the equipment you'll need to sharpen your survival skills!
Beginner Hike with Rooted Paths
Sunday, November 1 @ Big Soddy Creek Gulf | 4:00 – 6:00 PM
After a weekend of Halloween festivities, a little fresh air might be just what you need. Rooted Paths is leading a beginner-friendly hike along Big Soddy Creek, following a gentle gravel trail past scenic gorge walls and flowing water. Take in the autumn scenery without tackling a mountain to get there!
Got somethin’ you wanna tell the community about?
Tell us all about it with our new and improved events form, or just reply to this email with your event details and we’ll go from there!
This week’s Community Spotlight: Show Us Your Spooky Getups! 🎃
Neighbors, it’s the most wonderful week of the year (sorry Christmas, but you ain’t got candy corn). All over Chattanooga, folks are diggin’ through closets, hot-gluin’ things that oughta never be hot-glued, and convincin’ the family dog that he does in fact wanna be a hot dog this year.
I know most kiddos appreciate Hollerween for the bucketloads of candy that we loot from neighboring houses, but the real treat to me is the costumes. Seein’ what folks come up with is one of my favorite parts of the whole season! The scary ones, the silly ones, the ones that took six weeks to build and the ones that came together at 4:59 on Saturday with a bedsheet and a dream. I want to see ’em ALL.
So here’s the deal: snap a picture of your costume and hit reply to send it our way!
This goes for solo costumes, family themes, matchin’ outfits with your best friend, your cat lookin’ real unamused in a witch hat. If it’s spooky, creative, and maybe even a little weird (especially these), we wanna see it. We’ll share some of our favorites in next week’s issue so the whole porch can enjoy ’em.
If you’ve already got yours ready to go, don’t wait ‘til Saturday for an excuse to show it off! Maybe you can help Clementine with her own problem by showin’ off your costume. That girl has been pacin’ a hole in my bedroom rug tryin’ to decide on hers, and at this rate she’s gonna end up trick-or-treatin’ as “a kid who couldn’t make up her mind,” so y’all might be the only thing standin’ between her and a last-minute bedsheet.
Oh and don’tcha worry: Bubby’s gonna be out there too in somethin’ real special, Meemaw says I gotta keep it a secret ‘til then.
Y’all have the happiest, safest Hollerween, and save me a Reese’s cup! 👻
Clementine’s Corner: Happy Hallo-week, Chattynooga!
I feel like I’ve been preparing for this week all year. Halloween is one of my favorite nights of the whole year. I’ve got my checklist to make sure I’m ready for Saturday’s festivities! I have my pumpkin bucket for trick-or-treat candy, a whole route planned through Meemaw’s neighborhood (with the houses that give the good candy marked), and even procured all the ingredients to make some spooky-brain-looking-cinnamon-rolls.
There’s just one terrifying problem: I don’t know what my costume should be.
It’s not that I haven’t been thinking about it, like all year… it’s just that nothing feels quite right! There are the classic costumes, like a ghost or a vampire, but I’ve been there, done that. I could do something ✨trendy✨, like a K-Pop Demon Hunter or a Minecraft creeper, but those are so overdone. I’ve even thought about doing something crazy like a blow up dinosaur or Lord Farquad. But no, none of those will work. I need something totally original and uniquely Clementine.
That’s where you come in, dear reader! I’m thinking if you tell me what YOUR costume is going to be, I’ll find some inspiration of my own. Don’t worry, I won’t steal your costume, but I need ideas, people!
Happy Halloween, friends. Have fun out there and be safe!
Don't lose your head out there, neighbor!
And if ya do, check the lost and found ‘cause Clementine's been keepin' inventory.
Thanks for sittin' a spell with us this week! Whether you're out hauntin' the neighborhood, passin' out candy, or eatin' an entire family size bag of Reese's Pieces in the dark because you “forgot” to put it out for trick-or-treaters, we hope your Halloween's a real scream.
Keep your porch light on, and your skeleton on the inside where it belongs. Till then, we’ll see ya next week!
— Bubby and Clementine
